“Many people die at 25 but aren’t buried until they’re 75” (Benjamin Franklin)
I’m 25 now and I’m going to die?
I’m considered as a well-educated person in my developing country.
I have a decent-paying job in a governmental organization.
I’m lucky to make my way to different lands.
I succeeded and failed many times in study, in work, and in love.
I’m mature enough to perceive the world around.
How can I die at the age of 25? No way! I’m a young and strong and independent woman!!!
But I knew exactly I was at the death’s door.
Day in and day out, I let things go by as if they are meant to be. I keep working like a machine for productivity and money. I think everything is clear as day for everyone. I show my bright side in daytime and keep the dark one for myself in nighttime. I jump on the bed and let the sleep wipe out all mind-wandering thinking. I’m going to die.
Then this idea came across my mind.
Learning knows no age, no race and no gender. No matter who and where we are, we all have time facing the sorrow and the happiness, we are all new to something and feel the desire to look deeper at it. But tons of daily chores prevent us from that lifelong learning.
Now at the age of 25, I started to learn, more exactly, started to take note what I learned in a day. The more I do this, the more I feel like I do know nothing.
I will die one day, of course, but die with the best memories. That’s why I started to capture my daily thinking in English. They may be immature, meaningless and my writing is full of grammar mistakes. But they reflect me on the way of self-observation, self-purification, and self-liberation.
I’m a mess but I’m trying to do my best.